Wheely funny, or The Best Thing Ever

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I saw this fabric banner hanging in the Hingham Catholic church, and I admired the typography. Look at the nice size relationship between “The” and “Son is risen”. And look how the “The” is snugged in so nicely to the rest of the headline! Plus the “Alleluia!” is so jaunty, it could have come straight out of House Industries! I was like, “Whoa, some church lady had mad felt-cutting type gifts.” (This monologue was in my head).

Then a few minutes later, out of nowhere, my great-aunt Hazel (sitting next to me) said, “I made that banner, about 40 years ago.”

WHOA! Big ups to the great-aunt!

Aunt Hazel scored another grand slam a few days ago when she killed with this anecdote at the dinner table:

Decades ago, her husband Frank (my great-uncle, now deceased) was helping a local family harvest their wheat crop. (This kind of “combine-driver for rent” thing is called custom-cutting). Halfway through the harvest Frank had the bad luck to COMPLETELY LOSE a wheel from his combine! I don’t know how this could have happened! Seems like a pretty rare catastrophe!

But anyway, Frank had to leave to get replacement parts, and when he came back, there was a sign on his combine where the wheel used to be, reading:

YOU PICKED A FINE TIME TO LEAVE ME, LOOSE WHEEL.

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